“Lafu, I’m afraid I’ve been thinking.”
“A dangerous past time…”
“I know.” (Beauty and the Beast)
Sorry for the goofy quote but this post needs a little comic relief.
I’ve been deep into research into the idea of reincarnation for a book I’m writing. One part tells about guides who come into your life at a critical point, but who don’t necessarily stay there. In this post I’d like to talk about that point in MY life. This will be a very hard post emotionally but it’s time it was out. **Trigger warning for abuse and the idea of suicide.**
I’ve told people the jist of this but not the entire story. The person who I believe to have been my guide at this point in my life and I, have since had a falling out. I haven’t spoken to this person in years but if by some chance you read this, please know that I am still eternally grateful to you. I wouldn’t be here today without you.
I was 19 years old and on my way to deliver the deposit for the new apartment my boyfriend at the time and I were going to move into. I had been trapped in the relationship for over a year at this point and suffered unspeakable abuse at his hands. I was almost to the leasing office when I got stuck at a light and suddenly the feeling of terror came over me. I realized delivering this deposit could mean this place would be my death. Things had been getting worse at this point with him and something told me this would be my final resting place. I drove right past the leasing office. Feeling suddenly brave, I drove straight to work and requested a private meeting with my boss. I told him everything, down to being afraid for my life. When he told me there was unfortunately nothing he could do, my heart sank. I was so sure he could/would help me.
I went into the break room with my service dog, Rhea, and just sat and cried. For how long, I don’t know. I couldn’t go to my family because he had made sure to completely ostracise them from me. My supposed best friend at the time was sympathetic, but was afraid to get involved. She claims she ‘helped’ but that is a lie. She only helped minimally after all was said and done and had no part in my actual escape. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Point is I was alone. After awhile I had made up my mind. I would end it all myself and not allow him the satisfaction of doing it himself.
I took Rhea into the bathroom, tightened her collar so she couldn’t slip it, and tied her leash to the bathroom stall. Someone would find her and give her a good home. I wouldn’t allow her to be a part of this. I walked out, ignoring her yelping. I had made up my mind.
As I walked past the office on my way out, I passed a woman who I was friendly with, but she hadn’t been working there very long. Let’s call her’ B’. She took one look at me and stopped me and said “You need help, don’t you?” I nodded but couldn’t say anything without breaking down. I didn’t know how she’ knew’, but thinking back on it and my research into reincarnation, I now fully believe that she was one of those guides sent to me in a moment of need. She told me to go get my dog and went and told our boss she was leaving. When she came out of the office she told me to follow her to her car. I told her everything on the way to her house. She didn’t say any of those unhelpful words of sympathy I had grown accustomed to, just glared at the steering wheel. When we got to her house she told me to stay put and that she would be right back. She came back out with a small handgun and said “Tell me how to get to your house.”
We got there and sat in the car for a few minutes. Then she said to me “Leave Rhea in the car. When we go in, just get your stuff and I’ll handle HIM.”
I won’t lie, I was absolutely terrified and no way saw this going well. She opened the door and he was in the kitchen and was surprised and immediately became angry at me. B blocked his path to me, shoved the gun in his face, and backed him up against the wall. She told him not to move and had to shout at me to get my stuff as I had frozen in terror. I grabbed my cat and anything that was mine in my line of sight. She told me to get to the car and came running after me shortly and we sped away before he had the chance to do anything.
I owe my life to this woman. She put her job and her own safety and life on the line to help someone she barely knew. She gave me a place to stay until I was able to get back on my feet. If that isn’t a Guardian Angel, I don’t know what one is. Wherever you are B, I’m very sorry about our falling out (I won’t go into that so please no one ask), but please know I am still thankful for you to this very day. I’d have been lost without you.