Getting older sucks


Especially once you’re past all the ‘fun’ ages.

Definitely the crapiest birthday I’ve had to date. Snow, cold, fog, driving all over town to 3 different Sprint stores to find the one that actually fixes phones, my phone still not being fixed and having to wait a week for a new one. Ugh. Is today over yet??


Wind Farms


So I have nothing against ‘green’ energy or even windmills. What I do have a problem with is these things being forced upon people that don’t want them.

Yes, I understand how the money from leasing your land to these people may help keep your farm afloat. But a lot of these windmills will be less than 800ft from your neighbors’ front doors. We will have to deal with shadow flickers, high emf output from power lines, the noise, the lights, etc and we didn’t even sign up for this! Its one thing to willing subject yourself and your family to it, another to be forced to deal with it. What about those of us who may be forced to relocate because of health problems?  There’s a lot of debate on whether wind turbine syndrome exists (personally I don’t believe enough research has been done to either prove or disprove it) but that’s not something I personally am willing to chance. Shadow flicker however is a real thing and can severely impact a person’s mental health. And I have enough of those kind of problems thank you very much.

There are plenty of areas out here where these things can be put. Why they need to be smack dab in the middle of homes is beyond me.

Also where is the water needed to make the concrete bases going to come from? Remember, the eastern plains are dry and desert like. Those of us not in Calhan proper that are on wells don’t even know when our wells may dry up.

What about ice throw? A lot of these turbines will be right up against roads. Calhan Rd S (the road I live off) will have them almost right up against the road. Large chunks of ice being hurled off the blades right next to the ONLY road out of my neighborhood sounds like a huge safety concern to me. Our school buses run on that road.

What happens if one of them catches on fire? Our fire department is a volunteer department and while the men and women there work hard, we just don’t have the resources to handle a catastrophe like that. And I for one have had enough of fires to last me a lifetime.

Also this crap about Golden West policing themselves? Its just asking for a disaster.

The extra amounts of mag chloride that will have to be used on the roads (dirt roads that cannot handle the kind of traffic that will go along with the construction of this project) may seep into the ground and poison our wells.

Also the energy from the turbines won’t even be benefiting our community as the energy will be going to Denver. There was a lot of talk of this creating jobs. But most of those jobs people in Calhan or even El Paso County won’t be qualified for and they will bring in workers from other states. And once construction is over, all those jobs will be gone as I’m told they will only have at most 10 regular employees.

The way this project was handled leaves me completely uneasy and honestly sickens me. A lot of adjacent land owners didn’t even know about this project until a few months ago. Golden West is a shady company that only pushed this through so quickly for the tax breaks.

I fear for the future of my community. But maybe this will all turn out okay though and that’s all I can hope for at this point.

All about ME


One last post for tonight as I’m sure you’re sick of reading from me now 🙂

I am a 28 year old mom and wife. My son Gideon is 4 years old and I have been married to the love of my life for 7 wonderful years 🙂

We live on a 40 acre farm in the middle of nowhere Colorado and have 3 German Shepherds (Roxy-7, Maeve-16 months and Sasha-2), a 30 year old horse named Aladdin, a Hemingway (extra toed) cat named Toes (original yes I know) and a siamese named Wicca. We’ve been here 2 years now and I love living away from the crime and craziness of the city. You couldn’t pay me to go back!

I am a sometimes writer. Usually blog posts but I have been working on a fanfiction for a few years now and an original piece on reincarnation for a few months. (I will post the completely umorganized draft another time here). I owe my first born to my youngest sister and beta reader for all the help, input and ‘hey don’t write thats’ she’s given me. Oh and she’s a much better writer than I am. 🙂

Anything else just ask! I have many random/hilarious/and sometimes sad topics I’ll be sharing on this blog.

Other ways to contact

Twitter: @rhea111411
IG: gaws_germanshepherds
A03 (where I keep my fanfiction): Chikadee513

To add me to Facebook contact privately 🙂 Also will edit this post as info changes 🙂


The Chronicles of 2 husbandless women for a year


So I’ve decided to entertain you all (if anyone reads this blog that is!) with some fun times.

It was the year 2012 (Oct 2011-October 2012 to be exact. My husband had just started his career as a truck driver and my friend Sam’s husband had just started a year of tour of duty in S Korea.

I was living in Canon City at the time and Sam at the US Air Force Academy. I came to visit her one day and then just never left lmao.

Onto the story!

Why I have a German Shepherd Dog as a Service Dog

So we were robbed once. It was fairly harmless and all they got away with was money but still. Kinda scary, especially since I am a rabid fan of CBS’s show Criminal Minds and there was an episode last season where an unsub abducted a woman from a parking lot.

We had just pulled up to the Walmart on North Academy. Can’t remember what we were there for, but for a brief while Sam considered training her Golden Retriever Molly as a Service Dog for her daughter so we took her with us so I could evaluate how she did in a public place. My usual service dog (in training) is my German Shepherd Sasha, who while she looks and sounds scary, she’s all bark. We left her at home and took Molly instead so we wouldn’t have to deal with a dog in training (brand new in training at that time) and an evaluation at the same time.

Toting around three kids and a service dog is tiring work, so we were trying to get everyone situated when these two guys selling ‘magazines’ approached our car. They went into their sales pitch, attempted flirting (failed miserably) and were VERY persistent. Molly was in the back of the car wagging her tail away (sometimes she’s protective but others, particularly this day, she’s just all hey guys! Please pet me while you rape and murder these fine people in the car! -Sam) and Sam’s oldest was chatting away to the guys. They started to get a very dangerous tone, so we decided to just go with it and give them the money before it got bad. They walked us into the store to the ATM, Sam got out the money and gave it to them and they left laughing and saying ‘Thanks for dinner!’

Molly did very well on her very first and last public outting (Sam decided not to use a service dog for her daughter)

And we also had completely forgotten we had her husband’s gun in the glove compartment. Also there was a patrol car sitting outside the door (opposite door we went in of course).

But hey, better safe and less a little money than dead I suppose. But things like this are why I use a German Shepherd as a service dog. While my dog would never bite anyone, her looks alone deter most criminals. Anyone ever watch a cops episode where they threaten to send the dog out? Yeah, they almost ALWAYS give up when they hear that 😉

So that’s one story. I have many many more that I will share once a week on here. Let me know if you like these kind of ‘segments’ and I’ll come up with some more topics 🙂

A life altering decision is made (11/13/11)


(This post is extremely important for me to keep a hold of. I wrote this the night before I took Rhea to the vet to end her suffering and this post means a lot to me)

This is the story of a dog. A dog who started out as a horrible animal that had me thinking “What the hell have I gotten myself into?!” mere hours after adopting her.

I have partial complex seizure disorder and the dog I had been training as a service dog mysteriously died at the young age of 2. I suspect my abusive boyfriend at the time had something to do with her death, only I was too afraid of him and what he had threatened to do to my family to do anything about it.

A few months after her death, I was having seizures with more frequency and decided that I seriously needed a new service dog. I absolutely did not want another dog, the death of Trakker left me utterly heart broken, but I went in search of a new dog anyway. My friend came along with me and we were off to the Colorado Humane Society. I saw HER in the kennel and we took her out to interact with us one on one. She was 4 or 5 years old and extremely sweet. She seemed to be begging us to get her out of that hell hole. As I was still mourning for Trakker, I was hesitant to adopt the first dog I had seen. My friend and I left the shelter and started to drive an hour north to Denver to look at the dogs at another shelter. On the way up, I kept talking about HER on the way up there until finally My friend asked me if I would like to turn around and just go get her. And so we did.

I needed something at Lowes so I took My friend home and took the new dog with me. They had changed their policy on allowing pets inside and so I rolled down the windows and left her in the car as I would only be in there for a few minutes. When I came back out, there was a man outside my car holding his arm and I could tell it was bleeding. I called the cops and when they came they asked the guy what he was doing to get bit by the dog and he told them he was just reaching inside my car. Turns out he was trying to steal my car’s stereo!!

We got home and I let her get to know the apartment. I left to go somewhere and left her loose. When I came back, she had completely destroyed all the blinds in the apartment and had eaten an entire unopened pack of cigarettes! Off to the vet we went and on the way home, I bought a kennel. When I went to work the next day I made sure she was comfortable in it and when I came home it was to an angry neighbor at my door. According to him she had howled the entire 6 hours I was gone. I didn’t believe him so I set up a video camera the next day to prove him wrong. Yeah, I had to eat crow that day as the tape showed 6 hours if her howling nonstop!!!

I convinced my manager to let me bring her to work with me (it wasn’t that hard as I worked at Petsmart) and we began her training by enrolling her in my trainer friend Steve’s basic class. As I got to know her better through the class, I noticed that she didn’t know how to even play with toys! Steve suggested we put her in one of his puppy classes to teach her how to be a real dog and she thrived there. It didn’t take long for her to master the highest level of training class available. There had been a huge change in the dog I had adopted a year ago at that point.

Oh, I have so many great memories of this amazing animal, it would take me years to tell you about all of them! Do I choose the ones where she has literally saved my life? Helped me leave an abusive relationship where if I had stayed, we probably wouldn’t still be alive today? I have memories of her where she taught me about life, living on my own, courage, bravery, friendship, heartbreak…. You name it, this dog has given it to me… She was there when I met the love of my life (and tried to eat him when he came home from work and tried to go to bed haha), loss of friendship, gaining friendships, the birth of my first child. I can’t even begin to pay her back for all of those things.

I only hope that I am strong enough to stay with her tomorrow as she takes her last breath and the greatest dog who ever lived is gone from this earth. Thank you Rhea for helping make me the person I am today. You will be sorely missed but at least you won’t have to suffer any longer.

Lowe, Hunter, Mollee, Trakker, and Merlin, please look after my girl for me. I’ll see you all again someday.

All my love…..

PTSD (it isn’t just soldiers that have it)


I have never been in the military or seen combat. That honor goes to my husband who proudly served his country for 6 years.

However I do suffer from a condition known as post traumatic stress disorder. So many people, including my own family members, have told me that I can’t possibly have PTSD because I’ve never been in the military. But they’re wrong. Anyone can suffer from it at any point in time in their lives.

Mine stems from two seperate occassions. The first being in an extremely abusive relationship as a teenager. The other from the summer of 2012.

There was a fire raging to the west of where I was living, with a friend on the USAFA. I remember so clearly us joking about it. Oh how quickly we realized it was no joke.

I remember as if it were yesterday. Standing in the backyard watching the flames come over our side of the mountain. Realizing the true danger of it.
Then came absolute chaos. Sirens going off, police coming door to door to evacuate us. Throwing anything that touched our hands into our vehicles (after first securing the children in one car and the animals in another) before we were ushered out of the house by Security Forces. The white smoke surrounding us making it difficult to see.

I will never forget this next moment for as long as I live. I was sitting in heavy traffic on Academy waiting for the light to change. Suddenly everything went black and orange as the smoke enveloped us. The screams are permanently embedded in my mind. I still don’t know to this day if it was the people in the vehicles around me screaming too or just me.

Even almost 12 miles away, sitting at another traffic light, ash from the fire fell on my vehicle like some sort of horrible snow.

Luckily our home didn’t burn down, but the community right next to us off base did 😦 But it never felt like home again. Neither of us could stand being there afterwards.

For almost a year after that, I feared sleeping. Sleep brought nightmares of fire. And then the summer of this year, almost a year to the day, the Black Forest fire was started. I wasn’t even close enough for that one to endager me physically,  but it shook me mentally to the core. And brought the nightmares back front and center. 

I will always have a fear of fire I believe. Just the smell of smoke is enough to send me into a panic.

PTSD is a crippling mental disease. Anything and everything can trigger you into an attack. Most of the time it’s something you wouldn’t suspect or even think of being a trigger. Some days I can’t even get out of bed the fear is so strong. Most days I feel as though I am a prisoner in my own head. On good days I can feel almost ‘normal’ but good days are few and far in between. Medicatiom amd therapy does little to help. The help of my service dog Sasha is one of the very few things that can snap me out of it.

Sorry for one of my first few posts being so dark but I had to get that out there. The nightmares have been almost constant the past few nights and I have no idea why 😦