Guardian Angels come and go


“Lafu, I’m afraid I’ve been thinking.”
“A dangerous past time…”
“I know.” (Beauty and the Beast)

Sorry for the goofy quote but this post needs a little comic relief.

I’ve been deep into research into the idea of reincarnation for a book I’m writing. One part tells about guides who come into your life at a critical point, but who don’t necessarily stay there. In this post I’d like to talk about that point in MY life. This will be a very hard post emotionally but it’s time it was out. **Trigger warning for abuse and the idea of suicide.**

I’ve told people the jist of this but not the entire story.  The person who I believe to have been my guide at this point in my life and I, have since had a falling out. I haven’t spoken to this person in years but if by some chance you read this, please know that I am still eternally grateful to you. I wouldn’t be here today without you.

I was 19 years old and on my way to deliver the deposit for the new apartment my boyfriend at the time and I were going to move into. I had been trapped in the relationship for over a year at this point and suffered unspeakable abuse at his hands. I was almost to the leasing office when I got stuck at a light and suddenly the feeling of terror came over me. I realized delivering this deposit could mean this place would be my death. Things had been getting worse at this point with him and something told me this would be my final resting place. I drove right past the leasing office. Feeling suddenly brave, I drove straight to work and requested a private meeting with my boss.  I told him everything, down to being afraid for my life. When he told me there was unfortunately nothing he could do, my heart sank. I was so sure he could/would help me.

I went into the break room with my service dog, Rhea, and just sat and cried. For how long, I don’t know. I couldn’t go to my family because he had made sure to completely ostracise them from me. My supposed best friend at the time was sympathetic, but was afraid to get involved. She claims she ‘helped’ but that is a lie. She only helped minimally after all was said and done and had no part in my actual escape.  But I’m getting ahead of myself. Point is I was alone.  After awhile I had made up my mind. I would end it all myself and not allow him the satisfaction of doing it himself.

I took Rhea into the bathroom, tightened her collar so she couldn’t slip it, and tied her leash to the bathroom stall. Someone would find her and give her a good home. I wouldn’t allow her to be a part of this. I walked out, ignoring her yelping. I had made up my mind.

As I walked past the office on my way out, I passed a woman who I was friendly with, but she hadn’t been working there very long. Let’s call her’ B’. She took one look at me and stopped me and said “You need help, don’t you?”  I nodded but couldn’t say anything without breaking down. I didn’t know how she’ knew’, but thinking back on it and my research into reincarnation, I now fully believe that she was one of those guides sent to me in a moment of need. She told me to go get my dog and went and told our boss she was leaving. When she came out of the office she told me to follow her to her car. I told her everything on the way to her house. She didn’t say any of those unhelpful words of sympathy I had grown accustomed to, just glared at the steering wheel.  When we got to her house she told me to stay put and that she would be right back. She came back out with a small handgun and said “Tell me how to get to your house.”

We got there and sat in the car for a few minutes. Then she said to me “Leave Rhea in the car. When we go in, just get your stuff and I’ll handle HIM.”

I won’t lie, I was absolutely terrified and no way saw this going well. She opened the door and he was in the kitchen and was surprised and immediately became angry at me. B blocked his path to me, shoved the gun in his face, and backed him up against the wall. She told him not to move and had to shout at me to get my stuff as I had frozen in terror. I grabbed my cat and anything that was mine in my line of sight. She told me to get to the car and came running after me shortly and we sped away before he had the chance to do anything.

I owe my life to this woman. She put her job and her own safety and life on the line to help someone she barely knew. She gave me a place to stay until I was able to get back on my feet. If that isn’t a Guardian Angel, I don’t know what one is. Wherever you are B, I’m very sorry about our falling out (I won’t go into that so please no one ask), but please know I am still thankful for you to this very day. I’d have been lost without you.


Paranormal- A trip down memory lane


As most of you know, I used to be a paranormal investigator, first with a group called P.I.G. (which most of our members were cops with a good sense of humor) and then with a group called C.A.R. (Colorado Anomalies Research). I have a couple investigations I’d like to share on here, first an experience with P.I.G., that shook my husband’s world upside down. You may find them incredulous but I swear to you every word is true and what I experienced.

Helen Hunt Falls. A regular location P.I.G. investigated. I believe the energy of the water fall and the river there allowed for all the activity we discovered there. It also used to be along an old wagon trail from back in the day. We had gotten many evps from there including one calling one of our group members by name, a frightened woman whispering “Run, they’re here.” (We think she was referring to us but can’t be sure) and on Oct 31st, 2007 a little boy’s voice saying “I don’t want to move anything,” in response to the male members of our group taunting. We had just finished up that night, put our equipment away and were standing by the cars talking about the investigation. Our lead investigator suddenly became very interested in something down the hill by the river and before we knew it she ran down there. Another female investigator, my husband and I went after her. When we got to her she was standing by a boulder staring off into the woods. We tried talking to her, but it was like she was in a trance and couldn’t hear us. Then she darted off into the woods and without thinking, the other female and I went after her. I vaguely remember wondering where my husband was, but it was like the thought was completely pushed out of my mind. (More on what happened to him later.) We caught up to her and once more she had stopped and was staring into the woods still in a trance. That’s when we heard a deeply disturbing growl that I have never heard any animal make, come from the direction she had been starting. She then started meandering along the river, very agitated and muttering to herself. We came to a storm drain and she started to climb inside it. Not wanting a rescue party to have to come out, the other investigator and I grabbed a hold of her and tried to drag her out. Now this girl was a whole 4 foot, 11 inches and she fought the two of us tooth and nail! We struggled to pull her up the hill and then she passed out. We finally got her to the road and set her down and she was starting to come around and had NO clue where she was or what had happened. All she remembered was standing by the boulder. We filled her in as we walked back towards the guys (we were about a mile away down the road) and she told us while she was standing by the boulder, she had had a vision of two men having their heads smashed against the boulder by a Native American. A bit shaken up, we got back to the guys to discover my husband laying on the ground and the guys all looked terrified. Before anyone said anything, I had the guys go a ways away to talk to our lead and the other female investigator and I interviewed my husband. He told us that he watched us walk into the woods but felt strongly that he should stay by the boulder and so he sat down on it and went into a trance. He ended up having the SAME EXACT vision our lead told us. (Side note, during our investigation earlier we were split girls/boys so there is no way for them to have fabricated this vision beforehand) He then proceeded to tell us that while he was sitting there, he felt like a football player had plowed into him and he was thrown off the rock and knocked unconscious. We all came together after our interviews and the guys told us they had stayed by the cars and witnessed my husband flying off the rock by nothing they could see and had run down there to drag him back up to the road. We were all a bit scared so we parted ways and went home where I reviewed the guys’ footage and found the evp of the little boy. To this day I’m pretty convinced that their taunting of this entity lead to what happened after the investigation was over.

A few months after this event, my husband was deployed and on that deployment he experienced a black shadow with the form of a dog following him and a man in a red suit with a shadow person like head and face. (He has drawings somewhere. I’ll try to find and add them to this!) We are unsure if this was related to what happened to him at Helen Hunt Falls.

The other incident I’d like to share happened 2 years ago. It had been a few years since I had quit investigating. I was living with my best friend at the time and suddenly our 2 year olds starting sleeping badly. We chalked it up to them being 2, but one night I heard my son laughing and talking to someone and then he started screaming. I ran in there and my friend’s daughter was sound asleep and my son kept pointing towards the door babbling and was obviously frightened. I got him back to sleep but less than an hour later they were both awake screaming and pointing towards the door. That’s when I felt that familiar heavy feeling that comes with an entity being around and I got angry. I got my sage, lit it and went around the house demanding the entity leave and it leave NOW! All seemed quiet afterwards so I went to bed. I had NO idea what had happened while I slept but I’m just thankful my friend stayed upstairs lol. A few hours after I had saged, my friend suddenly woke up. She smelled the sage lingering and for reasons she still cannot explain, she got ANGRY. She describes it as the worst thing she’s ever felt. She laid in bed pissed off at me, wanting to come downstairs and harm me. The next morning she told me all this and that’s when I showed her the deep long scratches on the middle of my back moving downward. There was NO way for me to have made these marks in my sleep. We were both a bit unnerved, especially her for the feelings she had of absolutely HATING my guts. I decided we needed some help and contacted my previous group lead from C.A.R. who specializes in demonology. He called us that night during our investigation of my friend’s house and while he was talking to her and having her read passages from the Bible, she started to feel hot and got angry again. He immediately made her recite a prayer and you could physically see the change that came over her while she struggled to repeat after him.

Things were calm afterwards for a few days and then the activity picked up again. Our demonologist friend told us it was because we were both different religions (I am Wiccan, she is Christian) and so he wouldn’t be able to help us. Desperate again, I told another paranormal friend of our situation and she suggested we talk to a psychic  friend of hers. Now normally I don’t believe in them, but we were willing to give her a chance. We spent almost every waking moment outside of the house and nights in fear so we were willing to try anything. She came over the next night and she was not what I had come to expect about psychics at all. She walked around the house alone to get a feel for the place and then sat us down to talk. I don’t remember the entire conversation very well but the jist of it was we had a very angry spirit in the house who was looking for HIS family and was mad we were not them. He hadn’t been a very nice man in his life and so my demanding he leave really set him off as he felt how dare a woman tell him what to do. She recommended we try to be kind to him and ask him how we could help him move on. Eventually after a few weeks of this, the activity decreased and then completely vanished, though he still HATED me and every night before he finally left, I felt as though someone was glaring me down from my doorway. I was glad when that feeling went away!!!

I’ve seen and heard many other things during my time with the paranormal. I had a visual encounter with a shadow person once that terrified me. Also had something follow us home from an investigation that liked to slam doors, turn water on and turn out lights. One time the TV remote even flew off the side table while my husband an I were watching TV and it landed in the middle of the room. Lots of experiences, some fun, some terrifying but I am a believer in the paranormal 100% after all I’ve experienced.